So I found that many of you were quite interested in the Depression post and I reckon that a follow up wouldn’t be so bad.
Let’s not talk about depression though.
Let’s talk about
Let me start by saying that the human emotion is both the most fragile and beautiful thing in the world.
We are given the unique opportunity to feel empathy. Love. Pain. Anger. And yes, frustration.
But unlike animals who have God-given instincts in order to survive once an emotion arises, we thirst after the very same thing that is the root cause of our distress or worse- we become the animal Charles Darwin made our ancestors out to be.
Frustration means that your emotions are a slave to your thoughts and you are a slave to your emotions. I don’t believe in emotions as single words because they are not. Frustration is not just simply ‘frustration’ it is accompanied by ‘anger’. Toni Morrison puts it perfectly;
“Anger … it’s a paralyzing emotion … you can’t get anything done. People sort of think it’s an interesting, passionate, and igniting feeling — I don’t think it’s any of that — it’s helpless … it’s absence of control — and I need all of my skills, all of the control, all of my powers … and anger doesn’t provide any of that — I have no use for it whatsoever.”
The tongue, my dear readers is a sharp double edged sword.
It has the power to both heal and hurt.
The end result of frustration and anger is only PAIN, PAIN AND OH YEAH, PAIN.
Please. Catch me.
No wait, don’t.
In the words of the famous Christina Perri song;
“I can’t decide if I’ll let you save my life or if I’ll drown.”
I’m sitting here and eating my French toast which should be accompanied by a berry juice or something but instead water has taken its place(because my Mother insists on me having clear liquids in my body) and I’m thinking about the root cause of Frustration.
It’s honestly simple.
Frustration is a result of trying to keep a law. The human nature is idealistic by default. We want everything to go our way. For people to do what we want them to do. It is trying to do something we simply cannot do. It isn’t about not “trying” because as idealists we mould and shape the situation and toy with scenarios then finally when it goes haywire in the slightest we overreact. So what’s the solution? To stop expecting? Hoping?
A person who is frustrated would probably say as Jonathan Safran Foer did;
“I feel too much. That’s what’s going on.’ ‘Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel in the wrong ways?’ ‘My insides don’t match up with my outsides.’ ‘Do anyone’s insides and outsides match up?’ ‘I don’t know. I’m only me.’ ‘Maybe that’s what a person’s personality is: the difference between the inside and outside.’ ‘But it’s worse for me.’ ‘I wonder if everyone thinks it’s worse for him.’ ‘Probably. But it really is worse for me.”
The solution is to stop trying to be a perfectionist.
Many people feel like what they’re doing is right but you don’t and this makes them strive to be perfect and they never reach the mark because whatever they do is never enough so people stop trying.
Discouragement leads to depression, self hatred, rebellion and more.
It is unrealistic to believe you can rid yourself of frustration forever, but you can learn to do things to minimize your frustrations and to make sure you do not engage in unhealthy responses to frustration.
You will need to learn to distinguish between what you hope will happen, what will probably happen, and what actually happened. Life inevitably has its ups and downs — its moments of relaxation and times of tension. When you learn to truly accept this reality, you come one step closer to being able to deal with frustration in a healthy way.
There are several types of problems that we encounter in everyday living: those which you know can be solved, those which you are not sure if they can be solved or not, those you know are totally out of your control, and those you are so confused about that you do not even know what the problem is. You need to be able to accurately assess your abilities to alter situations that prevent you from solving your problems and reaching your goal. Then you will be able to assess which of the types of problems you have encountered, and you will then be able to develop a realistic plan.
Don’t frustrate someone to the point of a meltdown. Constantly stopping to explain oneself may expand into a frustrating burden for the rare individual, so ceasing to do so is like finally dropping the weights and sprinting towards his goals. Those who insincerely misunderstand, who intentionally distort the motives of a pure-intentioned individual, then, no longer have the opportunity to block his path; instead, they are the ones left to stand on the sidelines shouting frustratedly in the wind of his trail.
Everyone deserves to live each day happily and care-free.
Don’t be the block standing in their way.
On a lighter note, Donna Barr says to men;
“Guys always think tears are a sign of weakness. They’re a sign of FRUSTRATION. She’s only crying so she won’t cut your throat in your sleep. So make nice and be grateful.”
Until next time guys!
Sara Malik. ©